I had Greg add a new song to this site. Everytime I hear this song it reminds me of Tara. She played it on the piano(very well) and sang it at every Kareoke party we had. It's a great song and a special tribute to her.
How lucky we were / Tom Hull (acquaintance)
It will soon be two years since that tragic day on which we were visited by emotional pain of an unbelievable and overpowering intensity. In the blink of an eye, we had lost a source of prolific inspiration, happiness, and joy. In the days that followed, I was reminded of some advice I once read somewhere. It was along the lines of "Do not dwell on what you have lost; rather, be thankful for what you once had". The pain is now much softer, but with November 10 close at hand, we are being reminded of what it was like two years ago. So, it would seem like a good idea to ask ourselves "What did we have when Tara was with us?" All we have to do is look at her memorial website and her page on the T.A.R.A. website.
For the sake of simplicity, I am going to lump together the tributes and condolences, memorial candles, and "other" sections (for example, "Her Legacy") and call them all "tributes".
I found 51 tributes in which the writers expressed their love for Tara. I found 46 in which the writers mentioned Tara's love, caring, and compassion for others (people and animals). I found 41 tributes in which the writers called Tara a friend and seven in which they specifically mentioned her friendliness.
I found 22 tributes that mentioned Tara's happiness. I found 16 tributes that referred to Tara's smile, and 15 that referred to her beauty. I found 12 that referred to her kindness. I found ten tributes that referred to her as an inspiration and nine that described her as an angel.
I found seven tributes each that referred to her spirit and sweetness. And I found five each that referred to her dedication and generosity.
In smaller numbers I found words like altruism, ambition, best, cheerful, considerate, dearest, decent, enthusiasm, extraordinary, fun, freshness, genuine, giving, goodness, great, honest, joy, laughter, legend, nice, pleasant, precious, positive, profound, remarkable, respectful, special, selfless, strong, supportive, thoughtful, unassuming, wonderful, and wisdom. And I'm sure I missed a few.
No wonder the pain was so intense and overpowering. On the other hand, look at all that we had to be thankful for.
Several times in the past two years I have wondered how many kennels and shelters there are in this country (several thousand?) and thought about the fact that Tara's life journey brought her to Country Kennels instead of one of those many others. Look at the special gift we had and all those other didn't have.
How lucky we were. We did, indeed, have reason to be thankful. Thank you, Tara, for so generously sharing yourself with us. Close
On this website there have been many references to Tara's love, kindness, compassion, generosity, etc. And rightly so, of course.
Yesterday I witnessed an interaction between three people which somehow reminded me of something Jessica Nagel said in her tribute ("My Rainbow") to Tara. It was a very brief reference to Tara's wisdom.
I thought about that and realized Jessica was right. Tara was always, so it seemed, happy and smiling. Can you have a better way to live your life than that? Tara had the wisdom to know how best to live her life; and the willingness to do so. I have been asking myself if Tara is the wisest person I have ever known. I think maybe she is.
Many times I feel your presence. As if you are thanking me for loving your animals. Ruthie and Elle have now become apart of my family and I am the one who should be thanking you! They bring me great joy and I love them as much as I believe you did. In my heart I know that you are with my loved ones and that you are taking care of them like they were yours. Give Tigger and Conana a big kiss for me my sweet angel, Tara. I will never forget you my dear friend. I love you!
Miss you / Amy Herrington (friend)
Tara, it was this night last year that we were with you. Many of us were with you. That was a good night for so many people including you. We had a great time that night. We just never thought that we would lose you...ever.
It was a real shock to lose you and you made me realize how precious my life is. I believe that you are a free spirit, touching all of us everyday in some way. I miss you. I wish that you had every opportunity that I do in life. I promise to live my life honoring what it is...an opportunity to learn, love, be, feel.... You made me open my eyes.
I think of you so much. I still have my little elephant. He sits on the window sill soaking in the rays. He tells me everyday to LIVE! I look at him and smile and think of you. Thank you for giving my life meaning. I love you Tara. Close
Missing you.... / Michelle Dormady (Friend)
I miss you and think of you everyday. Nothing will change or bring you back and all I can do is hang on to the great memories we had together and keep your inspiration for life alive. There are so many people that cared so much for you and will always remember the happy and outgoing personality you had. I promise to live my life with better appreciation as it can end so quickly....you have taught me to also not worry about the small things and you can do anything you want in life...
Day of Darkness; Legacy of Light / Tom Hull (acquaintance)Read >>
Day of Darkness; Legacy of Light / Tom Hull (acquaintance)
It was November 10, 2005. The phone rang. I have caller ID and an answering machine. Usually I just let the phone ring and the answering machine take over. But sometimes, and this was one of those times, I went right over to the phone and looked at the caller ID display. It indicated that it was Michelle Dormady calling. I noticed that the time on the display was 5:21PM. Normally, I would not remember something like that. I picked up the phone and several seconds later I was listening to Michelle saying "Tara was killed last night". In my nearly 59 years, this was easily the most terrible message I had ever received. For the first time in my life, someone I knew well enough to care about and respect had died very suddenly and unexpectedly; not to mention violently and at age 25. All of my deceased relatives, whom I knew, died of natural causes and at an advanced age.
Because of the time of year and time of day, it was already dark outside. I suddenly had the sensation of being surrounded by total darkness.
Later that evening I was watching the news on one of the local television stations. The report on Tara's death included pictures at the scene, comments by a Kansas City policeman, remarks about Tara by Amy Herrington, and very nice pictures of Tara. Then at the very last they showed the body bag lying out there on the freeway. That has easily been the most sickening moment of all during this past year.
I marveled at Amy's poise and composure as she talked about Tara. Then I realized that the only possible explanation was that she was in a state of total and utter shock.
After a few days, some rays of light began breaking through that sensation of total darkness. On the Country Kennels website, there was a new section dedicated to Tara. There was a general notice of her passing. It was accompanied by a beautiful picture of her and her famous smile. This new section also included the incredibly beautiful essay "The Rainbow Bridge - Rescuer's Version". The idea behind placing this on the website was that Tara was like the rescuer mentioned in the essay. Finally, this new section contained a good number of impressive tributes to Tara, from people who knew her well. Seeing this evidence of the positive and inspirational effect she had on others enabled some light to break through that total darkness, but I still had difficulty getting enjoyment out of anything.
It was not too much longer that I became aware of Tara's own memorial website that had recently been established. One section contains photographs ranging from when she was very young to very recent. My favorites would be recent pictures in which she was the only person in the picture. But those are very few. With her love for others, and their love for her, there is usually at least one other person in the pictures. I especially took note of the three pictures of Tara and Michelle Dormady singing into a microphone. In all honesty, it looks more like they (especially Tara) were having fun rather than trying to provide beautiful music. I am certain that Michelle considers those three pictures to be totally priceless.
Another section is called Memorial Candles. In it, people can make short comments of 120 characters or less. The main section is Tributes and Condolences. In these two sections can be found many praiseworthy comments about Tara; her character, personality, and deeds. Reading through these provided additional evidence of the very profound and positive effect she had on those who were lucky enough to get to know her. Each time a new picture, new Memorial Candle, or new Tribute/Condolence was added to the website, some more light broke through and some more of that once total darkness disappeared.
On January 1, 2006, a mighty beacon was added to the website. It was a tribute that, in my opinion, stands heads and shoulders above everything else on Tara's website; and her section of the Country Kennels website. It is titled "My Rainbow", by Tara's sister Jessica. I would like to encourage everyone to make a point of reading it at least once a year. After reading it myself, there wasn't a whole lot left of that sensation of total darkness inflicted on me the prior November 10.
But there was some. It was mainly in the form of having not been able to attend Tara's funeral. On May 26, 2006, I drove up to Larchwood, Iowa to visit Tara's grave site. The weather was bright and beautiful. Larchwood is a picturesque little rural town located in pretty country. The cemetery has a basic and simple beauty to it. Tara's headstone is strikingly beautiful. I was standing just a few feet from her lifeless body, yet I saw light and beauty all around me.
Tara had enriched the lives of all, including myself, who had been fortunate enough to know her. She had brought beauty, happiness, and peace to all of us. And in doing so, she showed us how and where to find these things outselves. There were no longer tears when I thought about what happened to Tara. Instead, I thought about how blessed I had been. That sensation of total darkness was now completely gone. Close
You made a difference / Tom Hull (acquaintance)Read >>
You made a difference / Tom Hull (acquaintance)
Hello Tara,
It was one year ago, just about this time (I didn't make note of the date because I had no idea how significant it would become) that I was socializing some cats in the Day Care Room at Country Kennels. I had been there for a few minutes when you popped in. Upon spotting me, you gave me that "It's so nice to see you" smile of yours that we all knew so well.
You told me that you had come to take care of the litter of puppies that happened to be out in the yard on the west side of the building. You went into a fair amount of detail in telling me what all you did for them. Your happiness and enthusiasm were so obvious. You went outside to get the puppies and bring them into the Day Care Room and put them in their cages. The way you handled them and talked to them made that maternal instinct of yours very obvious also.
After finishing with the puppies, you left. I don't recall exactly, but we probably said something like "See you later" to each other. What we should have said is "Goodbye", because that was the last time we saw or talked to each other here on this earth.
I have written several tributes on this website and sometimes I feel like a hog. I don't mean to be; it's just that you were such an extraordinary person and I have so much respect for you. I have felt the need to express all of that respect. If anyone asks me to back up my statement that you were extraordinary, all I have to do is refer them to this website and your section of the Country Kennels website. It's just one heartfelt comment and thank you after another. It seems that every adjective in the English language that gives a positive description of a person's character and personality can be found in those two locations.
Perhaps the most important thing that is obvious from the two websites is that during your time here on this earth, youmadeadifference. A very large and positive difference; for so many people and so many animals. Don't ever forget that Tara.
Even though, as indicated above, I am not certain of the exact date, I will always consider September 7, 2005 as one of the landmark dates of my life.
We have posted pictures of the memorial garden Tara's friends have built for her at County Kennels. It is beautiful and peaceful and a favorite place for many to visit to reflex. Anyone is welcome to bring flowers, statues or anything they wish to add to her garden.
On the photo album page click the photo album box and chose Memorial Garden.
Haven't forgotten you / Tom Hull (acquaintance)
Hi Tara,
I know it's been a while since I last wrote. After my last tribute, looking at all the things I had said in it and the other tributes I had written, I wondered what else I could say. And I couldn't come up with anything. Then when Jessica's overwhelmingly beautiful tribute showed up on the website later on that same day, I was covinced that there was nothing else I could say.
Well, I have thought of some things to say. The first is, simply, "Hello". Secondly, I went through your memorial website and your part of the Country Kennels' website and counted the number of times I found the word "love", in its various forms (loved, loving, etc.) Really, I did. I counted 78. No, that is not a typo. There appeared to be an even breakdown between references of your love for others, and the love others had for you. That speaks for itself.
Third, on both websites there is a picture of you and Benny. I have made it the background on my computer desktop. So, I can now look at your picture any time I want to; and be reminded of all the joy and happiness you brought to so many; and be reminded that you gave us the gift of a focused awareness of what's important in life.
The joy and happiness have replaced most of the pain of your passing. But there will always be some pain. After all, you are the dearest, sweetest, and most precious person I have ever known.
“Colors is the way I feel about myself, what I am made up of and why. I dedicate my writings to my little sister, Jessica, for the reason that she is the one I go to when everything falls apart. She is my security that everything is going to be all-right. Jessica fell into the same life that I did, she shares the same past, the sudden change of parents, homes, friends, and the juggling of emotions that comes with all of them. She is the success that I could only wish to be, but that keeps me working toward it. I am inspired by an eleven-year-old. She must have done something right….. Without the love as big as the sky that my rainbow rests upon, I’d never have the passion or the friendship or the laughter. Without my writing, I’d never have anything to show for it. And without the cloud of my sister, I’d never have the rainbow….”
My sister wrote that her senior year of high school, it was the introduction to a compilation of her year’s writings. I was in the 5th grade at the time, and I remember laughing with her when she read that to me because, it was the first time I’d realized that I was more mature than my eighteen-year-old sister! I didn’t think much of that dedication at the time, it wasn’t until seven years later that I read those words again, and finally realized the true significance of them. My sister and I are a reflection of each other. Our lives have paralleled in many ways, and it has been necessary for us to have each other, because many times we felt that each other was all we had.
As I sat clutching my mother and best friend, there was no room in my head for any thought and no space in my heart for any feeling other than the pain that had engulfed my entire body. It wasn’t until hours later, when I had regained my composure that I was able to process the tragic news that had been delivered to me. I’d just lost the only person in the world who knew what it felt like to be me. In the days and weeks that followed, a number of my sister’s belongings began to accumulate in my bedroom. Among them, her private journals, her favorite sunglasses, and her baby kitten “Sonny”. Through these few things I’ve learned so much about me, my sister, and life itself.
“So listen, trust, and love as big as the sky for in the end, let there be no regrets. Love yourself and trust your heart…” Upon my sister’s death, I inherited all of her journals. Since then I’ve been spending my evenings reading them. With every line, my companionship with my sister grows deeper and deeper. She had a way of expressing her feelings with the most beautiful words. The thoughts in her head, like the one above have become my life philosophy. When I read them, I feel as if she’s talking directly to me. Being sisters, we told each other everything about our struggles. However, there are some feelings that cannot be spoken out loud but only confined to a piece of paper. Through these journals I’ve got a different look at the issues that troubled my sister these last two years. She felt guilt and frustration for her past mistakes, but set realistic goals for becoming financially sound and making amends with all family members. It has always been a joke that even though I’m seven years younger, I had my life figured out better than my sister. Yet, after taking this look into her heart and mind, I’ve learned otherwise. Tara knew to trust and “love as big as the sky”, that is what life is about. Through all of the trials in my sister’s lifetime, she learned and fully embraced the meaning of those words. That is exactly how she lived her life. As I read her journals, she inspires me to live my life that way too.
Another object of my sister’s that I now have in my possession is her favorite pair of sunglasses. Though it’s not logical, I feel that when I wear them, I can see the world as she saw it, full of life and its wonderful opportunities. Every time that she found herself out of luck, she looked forward to the bright side. To Tara, it didn’t matter how bad things got, she believed that it couldn’t get any worse, only better. Hearing her outlook always made me smile, because it reminded me that everything was going to be okay, the sun was always shining, and the grass was always green. I knew that my sister was going through tough times; she survived, so I knew that I could too. Though she isn’t here anymore to show me where the beauty in life is, she still shares it with me when I wear her sunglasses.
The newest addition to the collection is named Sonny. He is a lively little gray kitten who has brightened up my whole house. Though Sonny is having fun exploring his new home, he misses his friends. My sister had three cats, Dana, Ruthie and Elle, and a rather monstrous dog named Benny who had a heart as big as his owners. Tara loved animals like no one I’d ever seen. She worked at an animal kennel and spent her free time volunteering at adoption clinics. Along with her permanent residents, Tara also brought her work home sometimes, most recently she had been bringing home Sonny and Cher, two orphan kittens whom she had been bottle feeding and caring for since they were born.Over the years, I’d been very critical of my sister’s love for animals, there were times that she was struggling to survive on her own; yet, she chose to keep paying the expenses that come along with owning pets. Her response to my complaints was always the same, “They are my babies and I need them”. Having never owned a pet before, I could not comprehend this. However, I admired her for her dedication to her furry friends. Her love was unbounded, not just for her animals, but for everyone. Nothing ever got in the way of her and her pets or people that were most important to her. She knew how imperative it was to love, and share in friendship. Sonny is a reminder for me to love, to love my family and to love my friends, but above all, to never let anything get in the way of that love. Because we never know when those loved ones won’t be here with us anymore.
Of all the things that my sisters left behind, the most precious one is that little piece of her that lives inside of me. Without this, none of these physical things would have any meaning whatsoever. My dad once called us soul mates because we knew each other inside and out, in a way that only sister’s could. I have eighteen years worth of memories and those cannot be replaced or taken away. Inside of me she left an ambition that inspires me to live and love the way that she did. She left me dedication, courage, and strength. Often the question crosses my mind, “How can I possibly live the rest of my life without her?” But then I remember everything that she left to me, everything that she left inside of me and most importantly, that she is watching over me every step of the way.
Senior year was not easy for my sister. It was one of the many times that she had to start her life all over again. Now it’s my senior year and similarly, I am starting my life all over again, I am starting all over without my sister right beside me. I would like to take this time to dedicate this to my big sister, Tara. For everything that she has brought to my life and for all the colors that she opened my eyes to see; because of her wisdom which is beyond my comprehension, her inexplicable determination to overcome every unpleasant situation, and her ability to unconditionally “love as big as the sky”; because she’s always been there for me; I always knew that I could count on my sister to understand, even when no one else could. She is my motivation to wake up every morning and do my best to live and love. I thank her for every that she’s given me and for being the rainbow that continues to brighten my world.
The year that Tara died / Tom Hull (acquaintance)
Hello friends,
Calendar year 2005 is now history. It makes me feel like Tara's life here on earth has been pushed further away - by a significant distance. That hurts a little bit.
I'm sure that all of us have had two or three years in which there was one event that had an exceptionally profound effect on us; good or bad. For me, 2005 will forever be emblazoned on my mind and soul as
"The year that Tara died; and a legend was born"
A legend built on happiness and sweetness; honesty and decency; kindness and compassion; love and, most of all, generosity. The likes of which many of us may have never seen before, and quite likely will not see again.
It may be a challenge, but every day may we all remember to pick up and carry the mighty torch Tara has laid down. And may we be thankful that we had her to show us the way.
And may we all have a happy 2006, in which we do not lose any more people we care so much about.
The Window / Tom Hull (acquaintance)
A Christmas message for Tara's family
Dear folks,
We all know that this year "Merry Christmas" is a difficult concept for you, considering the huge void you have as a result of your hearts being ravaged so recently. But please let me mention the scene from "Sound of Music" in which the Reverend Mother says to Maria something along the lines of "Whenever God closes a door, he opens a window somewhere". I could be wrong, of course, but I am positive I know what and where that window is. It is the "Tara's Memorial Fund" set up by Country Kennels.
Had Tara lived another 50 years she would have done an enormous anount of good and become well known to and by a large number of people. It is my belief that through her memorial fund she will end up doing even more good and becoming known to a much larger number of people.
This website alone clearly tells you how the people at Country Kennels and Arrowhead Veterinary Services felt about Tara. They are the ones who will be promoting and managing the fund. They are a very good group. One of them, in particular, has a dedication and work ethic that you don't find very often. For my prediction to come true, the fund will have to become both well known and successful. It might take a few years (there are the "regular" duties of caring for the animals to look after), but I am positive that it will. I, for one, will not be sitting on the sidelines. In fact, I have already become involved.
I foresee Tara's Memorial Fund taking each of us, family and friend alike, on our own journey. I am looking forward to mine with hope and anticipation. And a little bit of sadness. Thirty years from now, if I am still around, I will still remember her beautiful smile.
I'll miss you Tara / Emily Hutchinson (friend)
I first met Tara working at Hy-Vee over five years ago. We were good friends, and even roomates for a while, but then we went our separate ways. We stayed in touch kind of sporadically, but when we would see each other it was always like old times. I just found out of Tara's passing a couple of days ago and have been thinking about her and what I would want to say about her. She was really a kind heart as everyone that knew her attests to. She was also very quirky and silly, which seemed to draw everyone into her and make them want more of her friendship and spirit for life. I remember things like she used to go up to the airport and watch the planes take off. She loved the cheese dip at Mexican restaurants. She loved animals. I remember free food Sundays working at Hy-Vee--I'd get chicken strips and she'd get mashed potatoes. I know those are silly things to remember, but all the little things are what make up Tara in my heart. I always took for granted that she would be there when our paths would cross again, and now she's gone. I actually had started thinking of her and what she was up to about a month ago, around the time that she died it turns out. Maybe that was her spirit saying good bye...I hope so. I'll miss you Tara!
How short our time is. / Cindy Pugh (Previous boss )Read >>
How short our time is. / Cindy Pugh (Previous boss )
To the family and friends of Tara, The entire staff at Aid where Tara worked for only a month or so is incredibly saddened to hear of her death. In the very short time we were privledged to work with Tara, every one of us saw in her something we wish everyone had, a true and sincere love for people and animals. We knew she was special from the first day she came in and when she left us to return to Country Kennels, we felt such a sadness to not be working with her anymore. She even brought us flowers when she left. Her kind of heart is rare in the world today. May God bless you Tara and heal the pain in your family and friends hearts. Most sincerely, Your friends at Aid Animal Hospital Close
"She sure is nice" / Tom Hull (acquaintance)
To Tara's father (I don't have your address)
Dear Mr. Nagel,
I was formerly a regular volunteer at Country Kennels, and had the good fortune to get to know Tara that way. On one of the candles you lit on this website I noticed you talked about feeling empty. That brought back a memory. When I was approx. 10 years old I dreamed that my father had died. The only word I could come up with regarding how that made me feel was "empty". I felt totally empty inside. I cannot recreate that feeling now, nearly 50 years later, and of course I wouldn't want to. But I do remember that it was, still to this day, the most terrible feeling I have ever had.
When I was introduced to Tara I recall that nothing special jumped out and got my attention. Of course, I had yet to find out just how down-to-earth sweet, generous, decent, and honest she was. Whenever out paths crossed at the kennels, she would always talk to me. When the conversation ended, I would usually think to myself "She sure is nice". But I would promptly put our talk in the back of my mind and think of the particular animal I was taking care of at the time. After all, that is what I went out to Country Kennels for.
Then on November 10 came that sickening news. I felt like I had been hit with a sledge hammer. Those conversations that I had placed in the back of my mind came surging to the front. I clearly remembered that great smile, the friendly hellos, the happiness that was always there, the loving things she said about whatever particular animals she was caring for at the time. I realized what a wonderful kindred spirit I had lost. And it hurt. I know that my pain is only 1% of yours, but even that is a lot, as you well know.
On the day that Tara was born, could you have possibly guessed that 25 years later that little bitty person would become a legend, and a much loved one, at a kennel in Kansas City? Getting back to your empty feeling, I hope very much that the tributes and candle lights you have read on this website and on Country Kennels' website; especially those written by her co-workers, will help fill that emptiness. No one can ever measure the considerable amount of good that your daughter did.
I wish I had realized / Tom Hull (acquaintance)
Hello again Tara,
As time relentlessly passes by, my thoughts become more clear. During the time that I had the privilege of knowing you, I didn't realize that just by being yourself, you were teaching me the meaning of such things as beauty, decency, and honesty.
It wasn't until Michelle told me of your death, and the shock had begun to wear off, that I finally realized those things. I wish I had realized at the time that you were teaching me those life lessons. I don't recall ever paying you a single compliment. I hope you can forgive me.
I want to compliment you now on the the things I mentioned above, and also on the way you generously shared your happiness with every person and animal you met.
A great friend / Matthew Ware (Friend)
Tara was a friend of mine when we worked together at Hy-vee 2000-2001. She was very kind and supportive of me. After I changed jobs we continued to write every once in a while. She always cared about her friends, even ones she hadn't seen in years. When I learned of her death it really broke my heart that someone so kind and caring has left this life. I look forward to meeting her again in the next life. Close
Tributes and Condolences
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